Friday, June 27, 2008
OPPOSITES/SETTISOPPO (story of a girl)OPPOSITES/SETISOPPO (a story)
Current mood: crappy
Category: Life
OPPOSITES/SETISOPPO
Fabulous bratty girl meets rocker boy … that’s what my friends technically say whenever I cite our unglorified story that had happened not-so-long ago.
Pain and pleasure, sadism and masochism are the only things that enters my mind every time I remember that ONE FINE SUMMER LOVE it seems like it just all happened yesterday. I dunno, I don’t want to think that maybe we were meant to be living our lives separately, it just hasten up my pain that I am suffering every day.
They say that opposite attracts and bonds with each other, but what happened to us?
Its been quite a long time since he chooses another road, instead of mine. I did everything to keep his feet walking with me, but it didn’t work out. But if he is already sure that that another road is the right path for him, I will be sad, I will remember that feeling of desire, our meeting, our walk along the grills and shrubs, his light that had been my raising guide in the dark. I will treasure the thing he gave me, and every time I light the fire, I will remember him. But I will never again come looking for him, coz that’s the best way to move on
It made me feel helpless and blue, its in my daily life, in my hidden suffering, in the sacrifices I make, sometimes, I feel like blaming LOVE for the destruction of my dreams. Pain is frightening when it shows its real face, but it’s seductive when it comes disguised as SACRIFICE or SELF-DENIAL. Or cowardice. However much we may reject it, we human beings always find a way of being with pain, of flirting with it and making it part of our lives.
Does a soldier go to war in order to kill the enemy? No, he goes in order to die for his country. Does a wife want to show her husband how happy she is? No, she wants him to see how devoted she is, how she suffers in order to make him happy. Does the husband go to work thinking he will find personal fulfillment there? No, he is giving his sweat and tears for the good of the family. And so it goes on: sons give up their dreams to please their parents, parents give up their lives in order to please their children; pain and suffering are used to justify the one thing that should bring only joy: LOVE.
Now, who the hell really understands the complexities of that thing we called LOVE? A lot of people had gone wild and insane after failing to achieve the benefits of that thing.
LOVE, as I say, is like sciences ALL OR NONE LAW, its either you will win or you will lose. So many human beings are blaming and cursing this feeling because it is so hard and so risky being in love. But looking on the brighter side of getting hurt, there’s still a beauty beyond hatred and madness, because people tend to know their selves more after loosing a battle, thinking what went wrong so the next time, they will take their actions and decisions into a better and more suitable perspective, then finally move on.
Just like me, after the unfortunate distortion happened, Id gone from a sweet and innocent girl, from a hardcore rocker, from a flippin’ thug, from an introvert person and finally, to an actual human-being.
They say TIME is a big healer but that is a BIG LIE. Wounds can only be healed when you decided to be cured.
Although I wanna be cured, it seems that I have no solution to this, It seems that I just cant let go, he is TATTOED on my mind. My friends wanna stab me in the head for still being hanged with this ROCKER BOY. They even ask me, what’s with that Guy that makes you feel like that?, still living in his AFTERGLOW. Well, here it is:
First, he is surely the type of guy that every girl would wanna bring home just to meet their momma. He is intellectual. He reads the same novels that I do read too. He is sensitive. He is romantic. He is considerate and understanding. He is appreciative. He is passionate. He is a good listener and responder. He makes a girl feel more secure in his arms. He makes a girl feel like she is the most precious gem in the universe. He makes a girl feel like she is a natural woman. He made me grow up. He made me a fighter. He thought me how to be resilient. He knows how a girl feels, what woman wants and what a lady likes. He filled the empty space with the love I used to chase.
Now tell me, if you were on my shoe, Can u ever let go of a man like this?
The hardest part is watching him go away and facing the reality that he isn’t mine anymore. But oh! I can’t lose what I never had
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